Needs

Today was supposed to be a good day.  Ian was supposed to take his driving test (which we are sure he will pass), so I can stop having to drive him everywhere six days a week.  But there was some form that we didn't have because the DMV took it when he got his learner's permit, and now they want it again, so I have to go contact his driving school and have them send it to me.  In the meantime, the DMV will not even let him take his driving test, so we had to reschedule.  Except the next available appointment isn't until March 8th.  Which we are going to have to move to March 12th because I have class on the 8th (the grant writing class). Feel like taking a long walk off a short cliff after days like this.  

And I am not sleeping because I can't use my CPAP until I have another sleep study which doesn't happen until the 25th.  I'm supposed to be at art group on wednesdays which I can't do because I need to have ian to school at 10 and I can't do that and be in SF at 10 as well. Tuesdays doesn't work because then I have to go up to SF for art, get home just in time to take my stuff out and throw Ians cello in and turn around and go right back up again.  Mondays he has lab all day.  I'm supposed to finish my painting.  I'm supposed to get the back taxes taken care of. I'm supposed to figure out what to do with the main bathroom non-medicine chest.  

All I want to do is sleep.  I am so f-ing tired all the time it's a good thing Ian can drive with me just in the car.  I'm pretty useless otherwise.  I start to get ready for bed at 11:30 and at 2:30 I'm still up because there was so much stuff that had to get done - dishes in the dishwasher (they were starting to smell), putting enough clean clothes away/sorted to I can find my bed, trying to get the printer working again since the airport to which it was connected no longer is in the network. (fortunately it has wireless, so it's now wirelessly connected to another router).  

I need to haul all the junk out of the garage so I can get the corvette in.  And figure out what to do with my old dishes.  And get the carpet cleaned.  Hell, need to get the house cleaned.  Need to start working on getting the floors replaced.  Need to find out why Rocky is so fat. Need to spend 20 minutes on the treadmill a day.  Need to sleep more.  Need to read the stuff for my class.  Need to get the house shoveled out enough so we can see the surfaces of tables again.  Need to go grocery shopping.  Need to make a list so I can go grocery shopping.  The list just keeps going on.  Need to have Ken here to help me so I can get stuff done.  Need to not think about our anniversary coming up in two weeks that is going to get lost in the rush.  Need to figure out what to do with the kitchen.  Need to look over the budget.  

Need to make sure Ian is on track with his studies.  Need to make sure he's also on track with COSMOS (summer program).  Need to make sure he's on track for financial aid.  Need to get the taxes paid so I can get the house & stuff in trust so Ian is eligible for scholarships. Need to get him signed up for SAT & ACT tests.  Need to get him a new passport.  The list keeps growing longer.  Every time I cross one off, two more show up at the bottom. I keep trying to keep my head down and just do one thing at a time, but it's not working.  I'm walking on cracked eggshells with a bomb under most of them.  And when I'm stressed I eat.  Which I'm not supposed to do because I'm allergic to just about everything but steak and potatoes, and those take too long to cook. Need to get the christmas decorations put up in the garage. Need to get the laundry done.  Need to get the recycle cardboard that is overflowing in our house to the recycle yard.  Need another week in February.  I keep telling myself to be thankful its not snowing, but if it was, maybe I'd get something done.